01 Mar So What Is True Love?
“The chance to love and be loved exists no matter where you are” ~ Oprah
We live in a world that supports, drama, separation and hardship. A world where the story is that pain has a purpose.
STOP!!! I’m here to smash that fear-based idea now!
I think it’s fair to say that we all will experience “lows” in life and painful, hurtful, upsetting situations. However, we don’t need to stay in that place.
Love, not pain and fear, is the way forward, so we can live a happy life and experience nourishing relationships.
Most people are seeking life-changing love that lasts. However, some may be experiencing a disconnection from their partners and/or there may be some frustrating challenges and previous/current relationship wounds that prevent them from having the love they deeply desire.
Nonetheless, is it possible to have a healthy, loving relationship with a partner, where there is true intimacy and it’s fulfilling, authentic and fun?
Yes, I believe it certainly is!
Intimacy and love is oxygen for us
As Gabby Bernstein, a modern-day spiritual leader, life coach and New York Times Best Selling Author proclaims and I want you to state right now and daily because it’s such a powerful and transformative affirmation:
“I am ready to learn through love!”
For a real heart to heart connection in your relationship, it starts by “loving yourself first,” because once you’re sparkling inside, you can then work your way out. This means you have to get a deeper sense of your inner beauty which lies at your core.
“Since forever… You are a sparkling diamond inside”
It really is possible to make your love grow and flourish and research also shows people with fulfilling relationships tend to be happier, healthier and live longer. Not bad, eh?
Can “true love” be defined?
Well, the Cambridge Dictionary states it as: “Perfect romantic love between people”
Whatever “perfect” looks like will vary from person to person based upon their personal truths, values, beliefs, preferences and needs.
From my experience, true love is what happens when two people love each other so much that their greatest joy and fulfillment in life comes from bringing happiness, respect and peace to the relationship, along with playfulness and excitement!
There’s so much mutual love that you become positively selfless and do your utmost to look out for each other’s best interests. You both feel safe to express yourself fully and unconditionally.
In addition, you’re both in a total heart space that comes from a place of love, understanding, compassion and kindness for yourself and for your partner.
This belief about love inspired me to create the ‘L.U.C.K. Formula™’ that I use when working with clients in my coaching practice to achieve their relationship goals:
When two people are doing all of the above at the same time, the chemistry is Ah-MAZING and a recipe for true love!
Diamond Clarity Pause for Thought:
- Do you and your partner have a clear picture of what’s possible or what you both desire from your relationship?
- Have you and your partner ever discussed what the future of your relationship might be?
- Are you both putting your whole heart and mind into the relationship?
- How close is your relationship to my ‘L.U.C.K. Formula™’?
Now might be the perfect time to do a ‘Relationship Audit” with your partner or if you’re single and seeking love, reframe the above questions:
- Do you have a clear picture of what’s possible or what you desire from a relationship?
- Did you put your whole heart and mind into previous relationship(s)?
- How close were your previous relationship(s) to my ‘L.U.C.K. Formula™’?
Whilst you may not be sure of the answers right now, it is necessary for you to embrace the truth that what you have to offer your partner is of limitless value. You’re a diamond-dazzling beauty and your love and affection is golden!
It’s vital to believe that you’re deserving of a loving, healthy and happy relationship, because how you think, feel and behave right now contributes to the quality of your relationship.
A Few Essential Insights for Being in True Love:
- Discover your core gifts
You have the power to shape your romantic future, by bringing the magic of your unique “core gifts” into the way you interact with your partner.
Core gifts hold the key to our greatest inner beauty and our deepest capacity for love. One method to understand what your core gifts are, is to ask yourself: What inspires you?
Over the next 3 days, spend time noticing interactions with people, places and situations in the world that inspire you, that light you up and fills your heart the most.
Similarly, in the same 3 days, spend time noticing the interactions that hurt your heart, irritate or frustrate you.
This will give you great insight into the type of interactions that you truly want in your life and consequently help you acknowledge your sensitivities and passions that exist at your core, your foundation… your centre.
Still, it may surprise you to know that your innermost insecurities and vulnerabilities can reveal your greatest gifts and bring you into alignment with your authentic self.
You can discover your core gifts in both your enjoyments and your heartbreaks. By honouring, listening to, sharing and working with these core gifts, you can change the entire quality of your relationship.
- You are a powerful leader of love
Lead with your heart, kindness, patience and understanding to connect deeper with your partner. You’re completely acceptable, fully lovable and deserving of having the relationship of your dreams.
- Are you pushing love away?
It’s time to be completely honest with yourself… are you pushing love away either consciously or subconsciously?
For instance, are you detaching yourself? Do you nit-pick or nag? Is anger getting in the way?
Perhaps unhealthy eating and drinking habits are influencing the way you behave? Could the people you’re hanging out with not be bringing positive vibes in your life and is this having an impact on your relationship, as a result?
Do you fear intimacy? Are you worried about starting a new relationship and having your heartbroken; therefore putting a shield around your heart?
Have you previously attracted partners who weren’t good for you and now you’re repeating these same negative patterns in your current relationship?
Once you realise how you are pushing love away and make changes; your world will begin to open up. You’ll feel a connection to your own beauty and greatness, qualities that can then be shared in a relationship.
- Nourishing and building healthy love
It’s important to build an authentic connection with your partner. A place where you are real. A place where you show yourself to be someone who is trustworthy, kind and understanding.
If you’re struggling to open your heart fully, you may be asking “How can I fix myself?” but it is not about “fixing yourself”, as you’re not broken.
It’s probably a matter that you have old limiting beliefs, habits and attitudes running inside you that need to be addressed. However, you are strong enough to let it all go and form new healthy, empowering beliefs, habits and attitudes, therefore enabling you to share your true self with your partner.
Believe in yourself! Because when you can tap into your precious authenticity and embrace all of who you are and value, trust and express the beautiful, powerful YOU, you can nourish and build healthy love.
THE POWER OF AUTHENTICITY HOLDS THE KEY TO BEING IN TRUE LOVE
As you shift to this deeper understanding, you’ll develop the capacity for real intimacy and connection with your partner. You’ll realise you can be loved, desired and appreciated for being you…
Remember, you can only receive as much love as you allow inside. For this reason, give yourself permission to feel loved and loving.
In conclusion, I encourage you to go ahead and define what “true love” means to you with CONFIDENCE and above all, enjoy each and every moment!
I hope you found this article useful. I would love to hear your thoughts on it! What’s your definition of “true love”? Has this changed over time? Simply click ‘like’ and please do let me know in the comments box below.
Also, why not consider sharing it with somebody who could benefit from reading this too? After all #SharingIsCaring
Do you need some help defining what “true love” means to you? My ‘L.U.C.K. Formula™’ will help bring you the clarity you’re seeking. Simply CLICK HERE and we can chat more about this!
Teresha, The Confidence Restyler™ Xx