01 Feb 6 Surprising Reasons Why People Tend to Bomb in their Relationship
Have there been times in your relationship when you feel like the weakest link?
Do you ever feel that you’re not bringing enough of you to the table in your relationship right now?
If this is resonating with you, the good news is you’re not doomed to be stuck there forever… Phew!
The following ‘6 Surprising Reasons Why People Tend to Bomb in their Relationship’ will help you understand the pitfalls to avoid, to safeguard your relationship.
1. YOU HAVE AN UNTRAINED MIND
You must be able to control your internal chat. You know… that annoying, nagging voice in your mind sometimes referred to as the “Ego” that stops you from believing in yourself and overcoming perceived hurdles in your relationship.
It’s important to understand where these thoughts come from, so you can get your thinking clean to make life much simpler.
Steve Jobs is quoted as saying: “Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”
2. YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE
Sometimes in order to gain, there is a compromise. For example, if you wish to spend quality time with your partner daily, you may need to give up some TV or social media time in the evenings. You may need to forsake buying that gorgeous new perfume this month, so you can take your partner out for dinner or buy them a nice gift. Be willing to compromise and pay the price.
3. YOUR EXCUSES OUTWEIGH YOUR RELATIONSHIP GOALS
Now be honest with yourself, are your excuses holding you back and keeping you a prisoner of the past?
Believing that the outcomes in your relationship are entirely down to the situations you have experienced, disempowers you to achieve your goals.
You can gain back control of the outcomes in your relationship by choosing to respond to things that happen in a more positive and helpful way.
4. YOU HAVE INEFFECTIVE STRATEGIES
This is all encompassing, such as having ineffective coping strategies, ineffective learning strategies, ineffective strategic planning within your relationship… It’s like wanting to travel north and looking at a map going south!
5. YOU TAKE NO ACCOUNTABILITY
Most people end up saying a lot, but not doing anything. Being accountable for your decisions and actions concerning your relationship with yourself and with your partner means “putting a date on it!” When do you want it to happen?
Have people in your life that can help you become accountable and it will be important to choose the right person to help you with this. For example, if your goal is to become healthier and trimmer, as you feel this will improve your self-confidence which will in turn better the relationship with your partner, you will probably agree that having a friend who isn’t into healthy eating and exercise would not be the ideal “accountability partner” to motivate you.
An accountability partner will be someone who is on a similar path as you, that you can exchange ideas and chat about your goals with. You hold each other accountable to setting and achieving deadlines for any goals. Once you’ve committed what you intend on doing to someone else, it makes it tougher to get out of it! No excuses!
“Your Network is Your Net Worth”
It is said that a strong network of people in your life is like money in the bank. Your network can help you build visibility, connect you with influencers and open up doors for new opportunities. Building and nurturing a network is one of the most powerful things you can do to support your goals.
Do bear in mind that when it comes to accountability, it’s also important to go easy on yourself. If you do not achieve your goal date, it doesn’t mean that you have “failed” and should therefore give up. No, no, no!!! Simply use it as feedback about what you need to do differently to move you forwards. This will enable you to focus on constructing new strict processes to attain your goal.
6. YOU DON’T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MOMENTUM
Remember to start small, then build.
When it comes to setting and achieving relationship goals, most people go in all guns blazing and then become overwhelmed. When in a state of overwhelm, people usually lose their drive and motivation, therefore they reduce their efforts or they may stop all together.
Therefore, a key thing to remember is that the attainment of your goals requires momentum. This is sometimes referred to as the “snowball effect”. You’ve got to start small, then build. Chunk down your relationship goals into small action steps and perform each one well. Picture it like a jigsaw puzzle…
It’s the small pieces (action steps) that make the whole puzzle (the goal).
British cycling coach, Sir Dave Brailsford’s ‘aggregation of marginal gains’ philosophy sums it up neatly:
“If you broke down everything you could think of that goes into riding a bike, and then improved it by one percent, you will get a significant increase when you put them all together”
Although his concept is in relation to British Cycling, the principle can be applied in all aspects of goal setting for your relationship. Always strive for improvement, for those 1% gains, in absolutely every single thing you do.
Voila! You now understand the 6 surprising reasons why people tend to bomb in their relationship.
If you are in a bit of a “funk” right now, as you are not where you expected to be in your relationship, you can use this information to empower yourself by taking control of your relationship and making a positive change.
Step into Your Confidence. You can do it!
If you would like some more tips and strategies on how to keep the love growing and flowing in your relationship, simply click the ‘Download Now’ button below to get access to my FREE eBooks.
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P.S. If this is an area you’d like more guidance and support with, I’d be thrilled to see how I can help you. Simply CLICK HERE to book yourself in for a FREE strategy call with me.
Teresha, The Confidence Restyler™ Xx