01 Mar Don’t Let Emotions Make You Their B!#@%: 4 Little-Known Things You Need To Know Right Now
Now, are you ready to get deep?
Because we’re about to talk emotions!
Yes, “those things” that can take you on a mahoosive roller coaster journey in life and in your relationship…
Some people are naturally more in touch with their emotions than others and throughout life and your relationship, you’re going to have all kinds of emotions, just like there are all kinds of weather.
Emotional awareness is the first step toward building emotional intelligence, a skill that can help people succeed in life.
Your emotions are the very force that controls your vibe and tell you what’s going on with your state at any given time. Some emotions feel positive, like feeling happy, loving, confident, inspired, cheery, interested or grateful. Other emotions can seem more negative, like feeling angry, sad, jealous, afraid, ashamed, guilty or worried. Both positive and negative emotions are normal.
However, negative emotions are certainly something not to keep hold of. Negative emotions are tell-tell signs that you are not in harmony with the situation you have found yourself in.
When you become aware of a negative emotion, understand why you are feeling it and accept it, it tends to lose its destructive power.
DIAMOND CLARITY NEWSFLASH:
You have power to choose your emotions. You have the ability to release yourself from the negative ones.
You can shift your vibe to feel good at any time, as long as you know what emotions you are dealing with and learn from them.
However, not everyone chooses to learn from their negative emotions and I say this tongue in cheek, they end up “letting emotions make them their B!#@%”. Yes, I went there, haha!
How? Let’s take a quick look:
‘4 Little-Known Things People Tend To Do With Negative Emotions’
We’ve all probably experienced that momentary relief that avoidance of an emotion or a situation can provide. However, long term avoidance can become a bigger problem than whatever was being avoided in the first place and can backfire.
Over time, you can become trapped by emotional avoidance, because you will start to feel the need to avoid many situations, people, experiences and places that may bring the negative emotion to mind, provoke it or remind you of it. The more you avoid, the weaker you feel, the more your coping skills lessen and the less of life you can experience.
It may be appealing to deny the emotion and “numb the pain”. However unacknowledged feelings don’t just disappear.
Unacknowledged feelings fester inside of us. URGH!
Denying your feelings and pretending you don’t feel the way you do, is not only unhealthy for the mind and the body, but it may also deprive you of your vitality and valuable information you could be learning about yourself and your life.
It’s always best to acknowledge your feelings, so they may rise to the surface rather than keep them bottled-up.
3. Compare & Contrast
Sometimes people compare and contrast themselves to others or the past. This emotion often shows up in the form of envy or jealousy. Envy is directed at others, wanting their qualities, success, or possessions. Jealousy includes thinking you will lose or have lost some affection or security from another person because of someone or something else. With jealousy, you may believe that someone else is receiving the love and attention that you want for yourself, which is provided by someone from whom you want it.
You can become more skilled in learning from and understanding your emotions. With time and practise, you get better at knowing what you are feeling and why. This skill, as I mentioned at the start of this article, is called emotional awareness. Emotional awareness helps us know what we need and want (or don’t want). It helps us build stronger relationships. That’s because being aware of our emotions can help us talk about feelings more clearly, avoid or resolve conflicts better and move past difficult feelings more easily.
So how don’t you let emotions make you their B!#@%?
Here are some simple steps to become more aware of and take charge of your emotional state:
- Learn to become more mindful and aware of both your thoughts and emotions throughout the day so that they become less automatic
- Observe your feelings and emotions as they happen without judgement, whether they are positive or negative
- Observe the thoughts that happen as a result of these feelings and emotions. Ask yourself is this right for me? How do I feel about this? Rate how strongly you feel the emotion on a scale of 1–10, with 1 being the mildest feeling and 10 the most intense
- Replace judgemental thoughts with non-judgemental ones, such as “it’s okay for me to feel the way I do right now” or “these feelings are neither right nor wrong and will go away when they need to”
- Continue to consciously observe your feelings and emotions as they happen and any thoughts that may arise that contain judgements
Diamond Clarity Train Your Awareness: Now, I do not advocate any form of physical discomfort and this may not be for everyone as it may hurt a little, but there is a technique that some people use to train their awareness of their thoughts, feelings and emotions. It goes like this:
Wear a rubber band around your wrist. Each time you notice a toxic dark/negative thought entering and starting to take over your mind, SNAP yourself (please go gently!) with the rubber band and say “CANCEL CANCEL” to yourself in order to cancel the self-destructive thought and stop it from growing into a monster thought. Then, follow steps 3-5 above and seek to replace the negative thought with a more constructive thought. The repetition of this technique is considered to cut down on your old, negative, self-destructive thoughts and give your autopilot a temporary reset – less negative thoughts, less snapping!
Wow! There you go… the 4 little-known things people tend to do with negative emotions.
The good news is, everyone can be more aware of their emotions and confidently take control of how they are feeling. It just takes practise.
The important thing to remember is not to judge your feelings. Just keep noticing and naming them.
If you would like some more tips and strategies on how to keep the love growing and flowing in your relationship, simply click the ‘Download Now’ button below to get access to my FREE eBooks.
I would love to hear your thoughts about this topic in the comment section below.
- Can you relate to any of the 4 things people tend to do with negative emotions?
- Is there anything you will do differently in the future to better manage your emotions?
- Perhaps you know someone who does not handle their emotional state well?
If you found this post interesting, please click ‘like’ and feel free to share the message with those you know, so that everyone can be more aware of their emotions and take control of how they are feeling.
If you’re finding it difficult to be in control of your emotional state, I’m here to offer you support and guidance always. All you have to do is CLICK HERE to book in a FREE strategy call with me.
Teresha, The Confidence Restyler™ Xx